If you felt the earth tremble while you slept last night, don’t be alarmed: it’s likely you were feeling a seismic shift that just occurred in the Kardashian universe.
Yes, news broke yesterday that Khloé Kardashian’s erstwhile boyfriend, Tristan Thompson, has been spotted canoodling with Jordyn Woods, Instagram model and best friend to the stars.
Jordyn is the professional bestie of Khloé’s half-sister, Kylie Jenner. She’s benefited from the K-Js’ largesse on more than one occasion: she lives in Kylie’s guest house, she’s a minor celebrity thanks to her association with the family, and just to add insult to alleged injury, she once modeled for Khloé’s denim line, Good American.
Khloé and Tristan have reportedly parted ways, as this is far from the first time he’s been accused of cheating. Here’s a breakdown of the buckets and buckets of scalding hot tea issuing forth after this latest Kardashian-Jenner storyline.
The cheating allegedly happened at Tristan’s house.
Said affiliate told Hollywood Unlocked that, during a kickback full of drinks and hookah smoking at Tristan’s late Sunday night, all guests’ phones were confiscated. After the partygoers surrendered their devices, Jordyn allegedly strolled through the door. From the jump, the two KarJenner traitors “were all over each other, and, it wasn’t just ‘friendly.’ They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other,” according to HU.
What’s more, guests who wanted to use their phones were ominously informed that “they may as well leave if they needed to do so as Jordyn wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon.”
If you think this all sounds weirdly premeditated and, dare we say, staged, you’re not alone — but we’ll get to all the conspiracy theories in a minute.
Khloé all but confirmed the reports with a string of yelling emojis.
One of the higher-ups at Hollywood Unlocked confirmed that the story came from one of his contributors, who was at the house where it all went down. He posted an incredibly satisfying video on Instagram asserting that Tristan had inexplicably allowed people to sit and watch as Jordyn sat in his lap and stayed overnight at his place.
Khloé commented a bunch of yelling emojis in a line underneath this video, which many are taking as confirmation that all of this actually happened.
It’s also pretty interesting to see Khloé anointing a previously relatively unknown gossip site with her Instagram comment. Conspiracy theorists might say is more proof that this whole storyline has the Jenner Communications seal of approval.
Tristan and Khloé haven’t been seen together in public or interacted on social media for a while.
Some are theorizing that Tristan and Khloé were drifting apart already — or had even broken up. After all, fans have been clamoring for Khloé to dump Tristan “Third Trimester” Thompson since he got caught cheating on her just before she gave birth. Some even wrote Tristan off from the beginning, because his former girlfriend was still pregnant with his first child when he got together with Khloé.
And it seems like all was not well in Khloé and Tristan’s relationship, even before this latest Jordyn rumor. A source told People earlier this month that Khloé “rarely” talked about her baby’s dad.
“Khloé and True are happy in Los Angeles. They spend very little time in Cleveland, where Tristan is,” the source said. “She very much acts like a single mom.”
Between their uncharacteristically quiet relationship and Khloé’s cryptic Valentine’s Day post on Instagram, it seems like trouble might have already been brewing for the former couple.
Khloé’s also been posting hella quotes about love and support on Instagram in the lead-up to the scandal. This could mean something. But also, inspirational quotes are kinda her thing.
The question is, though: did Khloé and Tristan break up before the Jordyn hookup happened? The world may never know — and even if they did, the Kardashian-Jenners are apparently still pissed at Jordyn.
“The whole family is writing Jordyn off,” a source says, while Kylie is “reeling” from the betrayal.
A source has told E! News (basically the Kardashians’ KCNA) that the family’s relationship with Jordyn is dunzo.
“Khloe is more disappointed that someone so close to their family would betray her,” the source told E!. “She can’t believe it.” (The source also says Khloé heard about the hookup from “multiple” people and won’t listen to Tristan’s denials.)
Kylie in particular has been hit hard by this new development. They say she has been “in denial for days,” which is a bit confusing — didn’t the news just break last night?
Khloé also commented on Jordyn’s Instagram Monday morning, the day after the alleged hookup — so when did the Kardashians and Jenners find out about this? Did Kylie know about the hookup before Khloé?
Again, this is more fodder for Kardashian konspiracy theorists who believe the whole thing’s being staged.
Tristan Thompson has cried “FAKE NEWS” and disabled Instagram comments after a flood of Jordyn shade hit his page.
Now let’s all get our tiny violins out for the man of the hour! Borrowing the catch-phrase of another guy who’s known for his incredible loyalty and character, Tristan tweeted “FAKE NEWS” last night as the story broke.
He’s also disabled his Instagram comments, as Khloé’s fans have been coming for his head even more than usual since the news came out.
Jordyn, for her part, has neither disabled comments nor spoken up about the allegations yet. Her last photo was posted the day after the dalliance allegedly occurred — and it even got a comment from Khloé saying, “Baby girl.”
Khloé’s pal Malika Haqq called Jordyn a “hoe” who isn’t loyal.
Before Jordyn made a name for herself as a K-J friend, Malika and Khadijah Haqq had done so. And now Malika’s come out swinging against Jordyn.
A fan posted a supercut of Kylie Jenner’s baby, Stormi, saying “bye-bye” and jokingly captioned it, “Stormi in Calabasas waiting for Jordyn to pack her shit and get out Kylie house like….” Malika found the video and commented, “These hoes ain’t loyal,” seemingly further confirming the story.
On one hand it’s good to know celebs scour meme pages in the dead of night just like the rest of us. But at the same time, ladies, can’t we settle all this without quoting Chris Brown??
Fellow Kardashian family enemy Drake is involved.
Now that Jordyn and Tristan might be joining the likes of Blac Chyna and Sofia Richie on the Kardashians’ shit list, it makes sense their hookup might have begun at Kardashian nemesis Drake’s show.
The hijinks allegedly started when Jordyn, Tristan and a few others went to see “Drake and his crew” on Sunday night, before heading to Tristan’s for the after-party where it all went down. Even at this early stage of the night, the two Benedict Arnolds were allegedly cuddling and acting like they were into each other.
This might throw more fuel onto the fire when it comes to Tristan and Khloé already having broken up before Sunday. Otherwise, would Tristan have really wanted to hang out with Drake, who has such a public beef with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West? Well, maybe — he seems to have a pretty DGAF outlook on his relations with the Kardashians.
But either way, it’s interesting that Drake is connected like this. Where can we sign a petition for a bizarro version of “KUWTK” that features only the K-Js’ enemies and former friends?