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Beep Beep! Toot, Toot! The President Drove a Big Rig!

Afoot and light-hearted the President took to the open road today from the cab of a truck parked, with its engine off, at the White House. Healthy, free, the world before him, he honked the horn and grimaced gleefully as dozens clapped and cheered. The long brown path before him, leading wherever he chose, in a closed-off cul-de-sac.

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The President welcomed truckers, CEOs, and, from the sounds of the video, people who are easily amused, to the White House today and a great time was had by all. The pictures don’t really show it but trust me. Everyone is having so much fun.

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Everyone in DC is having the time of their lives and definitely no one is stressed out or sad or having any sort of crisis at all.

Devin Nunes is definitely not having any sort of crisis, despite the fact that every public appearance seems to be a more and more accurate GOB Bluth impression.

Ignore that. He’s great. Sure, he had to apologize to the House Intelligence Committee for what he did just yesterday, but who hasn’t? Who among us hasn’t apologized to the House Intelligence Committee? Beep, beep!

And yeah, he seemed pretty defeated when talking to the press afterward but so what? This is America! We’re all defeated by all this winning! Toot, toot!

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If he looks glum, it’s just because he has to wait his turn to ride the Stationary Truck and that’s no fun! Who doesn’t want to ride the Stationary Truck? Everybody loves trucks!

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