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Trump Met with Henry Kissinger Because That's Totally A Normal Thing to Do

Things are really heating up on the set of the future documentary, Baby’s First Watergate! After unceremoniously ousting the director of the FBI, James Comey, last night (Girl, I know!), the president had a totally normal, not at all remarkable day of meetings and tweetings. First, the president met with the Russian ambassador to the US, Sergei Kislyak, which is totally fine and barely even worth writing about.

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You probably don’t remember Kislyak; no one else in Washington seems to. Kislyak is the diplomat whose conversations with Michael Flynn and Jeff Sessions eventually led to Flynn’s firing and Sessions’ recusal. But when pressed in February, neither man could seem to recall ever talking anyone named Sergei or hearing the word Sergei and they were unsure if a country called Russia even existed. Kislyak is basically Anne from Arrested Development.

But now he’s in the Oval Office, which is totally fine. So glad he made it home safe.

#PrayersForSergei

While it is totally normal and was previously scheduled, it is a little coincidental that the two are meeting the morning after the president fired the director of the FBI (Yes, girl, can you believe it?), the man who was leading the investigation into the administration’s ties to Russia.

The sudden dismissal in the middle of a contentious investigation was described by some as “Nixonian,” an assertion at which the Nixon Library was quick to clapback.

Honey, we are living in the golden age of shade. If nothing else, history will remember us fondly for that. When even the guardians of Nixon’s legacy are like, “Nah, bruh, this is some BS,” you might want to rethink your course of action.

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It’s being reported that Comey wasn’t even fired by the president or anyone on his staff directly. Reportedly, Comey was giving a speech in L.A. when Sean Spicer announced in D.C. that he’d been fired. (Spicey did the totally normal thing of emailing everybody on his press list and then shouting it from his office before running away. #NotCJCraigian) A television behind Comey cut to a special report about his dismissal like a scene out of Minority Report and that’s how he found out! (YES, GIRL, I CAN’T EITHER!)

Here’s exclusive footage from the event.

Anyway, after firing Comey and meeting with the elusive and yet ubiquitous Kisylak, the president topped off his morning with a surprise meet and greet with none other than Nixon Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger.

Is this Nixonian? How do you out-Nixon Nixon? Is this the Inception of Nixoning?

In the world of movie thrillers, this kind of moment is known as a “Hello, Clarice.” You know, it’s that thing where the villain lets you know that he knows you know and he’s like “But, do you know I know you know?!” And you’re sitting on your couching yelling “I know! I know!”

It’s like that. Or it would be if this wasn’t totally normal and not at all weird. This is not political thriller and if you show the president a Queen of Hearts card and mutter “Sergeant Raymond Shaw” nothing happens. Nothing at all.

Anyway, everything is fine and absolutely nothing needs an independent counsel or really any attention at all. I’m sure that if, by some odd chance, there is anything untoward going on here in Normalland, USA, it’ll be straightened out by our new FBI Director, Matt Damon from The Departed.

Follow R. Eric Thomas on Twitter and watch his new show on YouTube:

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