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It’s So Crazy That Michael B. Jordan Invented Movies

The first official Creed II poster is here and it just gave me perfect skin, did my taxes, liberated me as a woman, and made the world the horniest it’s been since, like, last week when the World Cup started.

Let’s take a look at this poster, shall we:

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Well. Do you need a minute? An hour? Now that you’ve cancelled your plans for the rest of the day, let’s do a very voluntary deep-reading of the poster:

  • The cracks in Michael Bae’s chiseled, defined abs are clearly an allusion to the emotional fissures Creed will endure in this movie.
  • The broad, muscular shoulders are there to take me away from this world lift the audience to new heights of storytelling.
  • The movie is coming out on Thanksgiving to correct all the critics who believe MBJ is a snack rather than a whole damn feast.

    The very advanced film critics here at ELLE.com have our early reviews of the film—cc: Rotten Tomatoes.

    “I’m pregnant. My whole family is pregnant.”

    “I’m married. So I’m not saying that I’m looking at the pic. But I AM LOOKING AT THE PIC”

    “This looks like A GREAT FILM!”

    “He’s just so.damn.fineeeeeeee.”

    “I’m ready get me to your local theater.”

    “Mbaej does not look bad in his pic, not bad at all.”

    “My ovaries are bursting at the seams.”

    “We have never been more ready for a movie than we are for Creed II.”

    “It’s so crazy that michael b jordan invented movies”

    Looks like really good feedback. Give him an Oscar now!

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